MM必读的英语趣味短文（转载）

人间过客

Open your BIG eye and SEE!!!!
（想看秘籍的gg dd 们, 看好了 [s:12] ）

If you TREAT him nicely,he says you are IN LOVE with him;
If you Don't,he says you are PROUD.
If you DRESS Nicely,he says you are trying to LURE him;
If you Don't,he says you are from KAMPUNG.

如果你对他好一点, 他就说你爱上他了
如果你不对他好, 他就说你骄傲
如果你打扮的漂亮, 他会说你在引诱他
如果你不打扮, 他又会说你是从'下只角'来的.

If you ARGUE with him,he says you are STUBBORN;
If you keep QUIET,he says you are no BRAINS.
If you are SMARTER than him,he'll Lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than you,he is GREAT.

如果你和他争吵, 他会说你冥顽不化
如果你保持安静, 他又说你没脑子
如果你比他聪明, 他会很没面子
如果他比你聪明, 那他就会自鸣得意

If you don't Love him,he Tries to POSSESS you;
If you Love him,he will try to LEAVE you.
If you don't Let him KISS you,he says you don't Love him;
If you let him KISS you,he says you are CHEAP.

如果你不爱他,他就会越发试图拥有你
如果你爱他, 他却会试图远离你
如果你不许他吻你, 他会说你根本就不爱他
如果你让他吻,他却会说你贱

If you tell him your PROBLEM,he says you are TROUBLESOME;
If you Don't,he says that you don't TRUST him
If you SCOLD him,you are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS you,it is because he CARES for you.

如果你告诉他你的问题, 他会说你super麻烦
如果你不告诉他, 他又嫌你不信任他
如果你责备他, 他嫌你婆婆妈妈
如果是他责备你, 那是因为他关心你

If you BREAK your PROMISE,you Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his,he is FORCED to do so.
If you SMOKE,you are BAD girl;
If he SMOKES,he is GENTLAMAN.

如果是你破坏了承诺, 你不可信任
如果是他破坏了承诺, 那他是没有办法, 非得这么做
如果你吸烟, 你是个坏女孩
如果他吸烟, 他却是个好绅士

If you do WELL in your Exams,he says it's LUCK;
If he does Well,it's BRAINS.
If you HURT him,you are CRUEL;
If he HURTS you,you are too SENSITIVE.

如果你考试出色, 那是你的运气
如果他考试出色, 那是他的头脑
如果是你伤害了他, 你太粗鲁
如果是他伤害了你, 那是你太敏感.